Afraid to fail ...

I think that's probably it. I'm not willing to allow failure to come and get me first. I figure that I beat failure to the finish line first because at least I know that I did it myself. Does that make sense? Probably not ... I'm just rambling.

I guess because I have all these expectations of me, I really am afraid. Afraid that I'd let people down and be a big disappointment. But I guess, in actuality, I really disappointed myself. I let myself down and didn't even know it. Instead of challenging myself, I challenged others.

How do you embrace yourself when you've failed so much times?

Perhaps maybe because you haven't given up and you're perservering. Maybe because failure isn't such a bad thing. It's how we learn. Failure is a test to see if we're strong enough.

Then again, it's not about being strong. It's about trying hard and giving your all. And to take chances after chances.

Taking chances is also willingness to fail. I've always taken chances, but never willing to fail. It was either get it right, or I hold a grudge. Maybe that's my problem. I should be willing to fail ... and maybe within that failure I could find my success.

I'm not talking about failing on purpose. But to put my all into my goal, even if it might not be enough. If it's enough to me, then I should add 10% more just in case. I push myself, and I try hard. I need to push more and try harder. That's the only way.

I can do it.

But to you ... I'm sorry. I really have failed you ... but most of all, I failed me. And I truly regret it.

Sugar Bowl 2008

For those of you Georgia Bulldog fans,

Hands down to you guys. We know that you guys are badass and probably deserve to be in the BCS National Championship against Lousiana. You guys got awesome offense and and played a hell of a defense.

But screw you guys for taunting us and acting like little kids. Georgia is AWESOME! Okay? We know! Hawaii screwed up bad. There were countless mistakes, and obviously played their worst game ever. They did NOT play their best. I'm not sugarcoating it at all. They really didn't play their best. If anything, I'm disappointed in our team. Georgia really put a mental scare on Hawaii and the Warriors let it get to them. It felt like they lost hope and I felt it. But we made it this far.

What happened? I don't know! But give us a damn break! It's not OUR fault you guys challenged us. So FUCK YOU to the guy who said "Putting Georgia against Hawaii was a disrespect to us!" And you guys are NOT the best team in the country. No matter what you say, in the 2007-2008 year, either LSU or OSU will be the best. If you were the best, you guys would have won over Tennessee ... but guess not. And you guys are NOT known for being a passing team. So in a way, you guys were lucky for making a lot of those passes. But Hawaii deserved every minute to be there. We won every game in our conference. It may not be the SEC, but we won every single game. We earned it.

Most of you Georgia fans have really shitty sportsmanship. Although most of our games were close, we still won them. It's not our fault the BCS put Hawaii against Georgia. The SEC is undeniably strong, but fuck all you fans who talk like you play on the teams. You're just a critic. Go play on the teams, and maybe I'll listen to you. Boo hoo, you didn't go to the Championships. Cry me a river. Whine to the BCS, because you guys obviously have a lot to say. All you shit talkers ... you have no RESPECT.

And all you Hawaii people ... STOP TRYING TO COVER IT UP! We lost, fair and square. In the football world, anything could have happened. We could have won, but the fact is, we didn't. We got dominated. That's the truth. Suck it up.

It's frustrating to see how shitty people's attitudes are nowadays. Everyone just LOVES to look at all the negatives of everything. I guess there's no other way to make themselves feel better. They have nothing else better to say. All they can do is make people feel bad rather than say, "Good job" or "Nice game." But nope ... I guess they're not so classy at all.

So all in all, Great Job Warriors ... it was a great season. We made history, became the ONLY undefeated team in the nation, and got into the Sugar Bowl. I'm sorry it wasn't our best game, but I'm proud that we made it this far. I don't care what these "SEC" people say about Hawaii. We have heart, and we won't give up. I'm proud that I'm from Hawaii and no one can take that away from me.

To Georgia, awesome game. You really showed Hawaii how you guys roll. Thanks to you guys, now we know what we have to work on for next season. It was an honor to challenge a strong SEC team and one of the top ranked team in the nation. Thank you guys for the awesome experience. It wasn't the best, but it was an experience like no other.

Allow me to show you good sportsmanship: "Good game." *shakes hand*

Stop ...

Stop feeling this way ...

It's nothing right?

I feel so stupid .....

"You'll never make it into nursing school ....."

Ouch, that hurts. I feel really stupid actually. I don't even got the grades to make it into my own nursing school. But what can I do? There's always alternatives.

Well, I honestly wanted to do the community college route first anyway. But nooooooo, people keep telling me "Go to the University! Go to the University!" So I did. I hope you're happy guys, because I'm passing, but I'll never get into the nursing school this way; not with my grades. I shouldn't have listened to you. I should've done what I wanted to and not what you guys wanted to. I had it all planned, I had my future planned. I shouldn't have cared if you were disappointed or got mad that I went to a community college. So what? It's still the same teachers. It's ME who knows ME ... not you. I know my own capabilities, and the University wasn't it. I mean sure, I could handle the work, but it wasn't good enough.

You know what, it almost felt like you dropped me in the middle of nowhere and went away. That's how I felt at UH. You kept pushing me pushing me to go to the University and so I agreed because I thought you'd have my back. And as I struggled, the answer I always got was "Well you gotta study hard." You weren't there to help. But really, you wanted what YOU wanted for me and not what I wanted. I swear my plan sounded good. It's still under the same system.

Now I have to suffer this feeling of stupidity. It's not that I'm embarassed because I can't make it into UH's Nursing School. I'm embarassed because I feel like I've let you down. You had such high expectations for me and I thought I could do it. I think you knew I had a small chance but you just wanted me to make the mistakes on my own. Well THANKS. I think I've learned my lesson in one of the hardest ways.

Most of all, I let myself down. I should have listened to myself. I should have followed MY path and not yours. Then maybe, I could have done better. Maybe I could have made mistakes where I truly learned from them and felt okay about it.

I feel so stupid .....

Bite in the ass

Good for you Frank ...

This is what you get when you no like listen ...

Stupid ...